Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
