Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
