I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
