rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
