I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
