i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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