you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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