ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize