I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
