Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
