rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
