I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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