My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
