i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
handjob tips. give me some.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
