sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
