I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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