Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
