just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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