I'm drive I can fine osifer
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
