Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
