Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize