It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
