My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
