I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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