I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
