I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
