That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
