Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize