You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
