I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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