My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
