God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
