Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
