forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize