Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
