What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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