I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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