my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize