my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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