The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize