she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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