I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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