are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
