great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
