Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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