Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
