oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
