quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
false alarm, still single
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
