remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
