My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
