to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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