let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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