Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize