Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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