and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
