I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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