Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
