I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
