can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
