Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize