I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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