I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
