you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
we're so committed to being not committed
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
