Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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