It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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