And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
