But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no you cant smoke seaweed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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