There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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