My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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