the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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